Friday, September 30, 2005

If You Killed All the Homosexuals...

Former Education Secetary and self-appointed moral stormtrooper Bill Bennett got himself into some hot water by suggesting crime would go down if every black baby was aborted. The White House condemned Bennett's statement, while Bennett defended himself by saying he meant only the nigger babies and not the "good" black babies.

The topic came up due to the book "Freakonomics," in which the author states that the rise in abortions after the Roe v. Wade decision coincided with a steadily lower crime rate, and that the reason may be that the majority of those abortions were had by poor people who would have carried through with their pregnancies in the past. Because poor people are more likely statistically to commit crimes, more aborted babies from poor families means fewer criminals on the streets.

As you might imagine, that stirred some controversy, although the statistical premise is understandable.

And you could say that Bennett's premise is understandable. Black people are the majority of poor people -- abort all blacks and you get rid of the majority of poor people and crime goes down. Of course the racism comes in when Bennett implies that blacks are inherently more criminal, not that they are more likely to commit crimes because statistically more of them are poor. (You may be shocked to hear that I actually give Bennett the benefit of the doubt here; that's probably what he meant.)

Anyway, not one to shy away from controversy, I've come up with a few theories of my own that I'd like the American public to consider:

* If you killed all the homosexuals, we wouldn't be subjected to any more Cher comeback concerts.

* If you killed all men, there would be no more wars. (You might have to take out Michelle Malkin, too, for this to be foolproof.)

* If incest were made legal, there would be a lot more matching organs when people needed transplants.

* If you aborted all the babies in Texas, (fill in the blank, it's fun!).

* If you killed all women, our species would die out completely.

Some of these need work, but my book deal hasn't closed yet, so I have some time to refine.