Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Lesbian Mannequins Are So Hot


Victoria's Secret knows how to get me going: mannequins baring all, and more..

"Little Shop of Whores," huffed one woman standing outside the new Victoria's Secret in Tysons Corner Center. "Slut wear," declared the father of a teenage girl, looking at a feathery-thong-clad mannequin bent over as if she were adjusting her spike heels.

"I love it," said another woman with a bag of fresh purchases.
Hell, yes, I love it, too. Those mannequin babes, with their perfect breasts and shapely hips and thighs, scantily clad, making me beg to see their plastic nipples.

Well," said Steina Rubin of Bethesda, "I find it just totally disgusting." And, no, she would not be shopping there. "I'm not entering a whorehouse," she said. "I come to the mall with my daughter. It's disgusting. And I'm from Europe!"
Oh, Stella, honey, methinks thou do protest too much!

Inside the store was a display of one scantily clad female mannequin crawling toward another who reclined on a left hip and leaned back on both hands.
Lesbian mannequins???!!! Oh, my God, I could cry at the beauty of it. And that mall is just around the corner from me! How am I going to get any work done, knowing those fake beauties are just minutes away, crawling toward each other, to touch each other's smooth as stone genitals?

I'm going to have to complain to store management. I can't have this kind of distraction.